Tears of an Angel
by PancakesAndSunshine
Summary: Ziva has never once in her life seen the tears of an angel. Zabby friendship. *Rated T for themes, language, and gore. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey guys! This is my first Abby/Ziva friendship piece, so be nice! I know, they're not the best of friends on the show, but hopefully this will have sort of a parallel to the real world. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Anyway, this was written as a surprise for my beautiful, amazing, incredible, partner-in-crime, Laura Scott. You may know her as Lauramaeh. Whichever one works. She is an amazing person and I wish I could really know her personally in my real life, instead of just through a computer screen. She is like, the **_**nicest **_**person and she is so sweet. Whenever I'm feeling down, she knows just what to say, and hopefully I do the same for her. So this is just a little shout-out to my amazing friend. I really wish you all could know her like I do. She really is the most amazing thing ever. And I meant 'thing' in the nicest way possible. But she knows that…**

**For my ever-faithful reviewers/followers/readers that don't review, (I appreciate your views nonetheless, I promise!) I know I haven't been very active in the FF world recently, and I sincerely apologize. Starting school has been a real hassle, what with ordering books, uniforms, and computers and whatnot. For my NCIS 'Those Four Years' followers, it'll most likely be updated by the end of this week. I swear I'll get back into the swing of things once school settles down. For my Criminal Minds followers, see my profile! **

**So, like I always wish… I hope you enjoy it! I worked extra-super-special hard on this piece because it's for someone I really care about, even though I don't know her in real life.**

***Important Notice: There is a link to my FanFiction Tumblr account in my profile, as well as an email address that is only for FanFiction matters. If you have a short story request of any kind, an idea for one of my current stories, or any questions, follow me on Tumblr and submit something in the 'Ask' box. I'm friendly! I don't bite! And I follow you back :) If you don't have a Tumblr account, feel free to use the FanFiction email I've posted and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Pinky-promise. **

**And end the ridiculously long-ass author's note. Here we go… :) **

**-Eight thirty a.m., Tuesday-**

"Thank you for last night, Ray. I enjoyed it," Ziva replied saucily as she snapped her phone shut. Taking a sip from his coffee, Tony frowned across from her desk.

"What _exactly _were you enjoying with CI-Ray last night, Zi-vah?" he asked, Ziva's previous conversation obviously piquing his interest. She narrowed her eyes at him, but replied.

"Oh, nothing you wouldn't enjoy with just about every breathing thing on this planet," she quipped dryly. McGee walked in, coffee in hand, confused look plastered on his face.

"I'm not sure what I just walked into," he announced, heading to his desk to set his computers up, "but I'm not sure I want to _know_, either."

Ziva grinned. "Tony was just being nosy, as per usual."

McGee shook his head and commenced typing.

"Damn it, Probie! Do you wanna make us all deaf?" Tony glared from his seat. Ziva snickered and dropped her head as Gibbs walked in. Tony leapt up and slung his backpack, grinning widely to himself as he was the first one up.

"Sit, DiNozzo. Good boy. Now… Stay!" Gibbs smirked evilly. Tony frowned and sat down slowly.

"No case today? That's unusual," he muttered to himself, cheeks reddening. Gibbs shook his head.

"I never said there wasn't a case, DiNozzo. The body is down in Ducky's lab. Let's go," he prompted, following his team out the bullpen and into the elevator.

Immediately after they were situated around one of Ducky's lab tables, Jimmy handed Ziva a sample.

"Ziva, darling, please get this to Abigail as soon as possible. We're on a rush mission here. My sincerest thanks," he smiled. Ziva nodded with a warm grin and headed toward the elevator.

It dinged once she reached Abby's floor.

…But it was quiet.

Too quiet.

Abby's unusually loud music wasn't blaring from her speakers. Instead, the forensic scientist was seated, slumped, in her small office in the back. Her hair was down, and her eyes were rimmed red.

Now, keep in mind: Ziva had never seen Abby cry. _Never_. The mere _thought_ of Abby crying made Ziva sick to her stomach. Seeing her friend who she cared so much for was too much. Her throat was already closing up, but she forced herself to lift her fist and knock.

"Ziva?" Abby's muffled voice came through the glass. Her eyes brightened for a moment, but then faded.

"Abby, Jimmy and Ducky sent you a sample," Ziva called, attempting to project her voice as much as possible. Abby swallowed and pushed herself up from her chair. As she raised her body, Ziva noted wince on Abby's face. It was almost like she was about to puke. She swayed for a moment, but steadied herself in time before falling. She was also wearing a long-sleeved shirt, which was unusual. Abby didn't take to the heat very well, which was probably why Ziva was shivering. It was freezing in the lab, and peculiarly dark. Sure, Abby was "Goth", but she never made it a point to isolate herself like this.

"Abby… Are you alright?" Ziva asked cautiously, not wanting to upset the younger girl. "You've been acting… Different… lately. Keeping it cold and dark, wearing long sleeves…"

"Ziva, I suggest you shut the hell up right now," Abby demanded spitefully. Ziva's heart pounded. She wasn't usually one to back down, but she felt… _Odd_… in this situation. Something about Abby's voice wasn't normal. It was different, almost like she was… High, or something.

"I'm sorry, Abby. I didn't mean to offend you-"

"No, Ziva. I'm sure you didn't," Abby spat dryly. "I really couldn't give a crap right now. So if you could just shoo right now, that would be great. Now get the hell out." The Goth snapped her arm forcefully and pointed toward the door, but not without a small grimace.

_So much for backing down_, Ziva thought. She grabbed Abby's arm, knowing it would be painful and that Abby would beg to be let go. She absolutely hated hurting Abby, but she had to figure out what was going on with the usually peppy girl.

"Abby, you tell me what the hells is going on, or I'm going to have to hurt you," Ziva threatened.

Abby yanked her arm free, thankful inside that Ziva kept only a light grip.

"Hell, Ziva. There's only one," she replied insensitively. "And there's one door that you need to walk out of. That would be _my _door. Now get out and stop asking about me," she urged. Her words were beginning to string together.

Ziva frowned. "Abby, I cannot just leave you here like this. Is it a boy? Is it… I don't know… McGee? What is it, Abby? You must tell me!" she pressed. Finally, Abby broke down.

"You wanna know what it is, Ziva? Fine! Why don't you ask the knife laying on my desk? Or, what about the pills in my cabinet? You can ask anything that I've been using to hurt myself, because apparently you're great at that!" Abby screamed at the top of her lungs. She sank against the wall and began to sob.

_Damn it_, Ziva hissed in her mind. She couldn't watch Abby like this. She wanted so badly to leave the room and have McGee deal with it. Don't get her wrong: She loved Abby to pieces. She was just such a fragile young woman that needed care and attention, no matter how much she pushed you away. Ziva seemed to be the only one who understood Abby's needs.

She wanted to help Abby, so much. But it tore her apart to see her cry. This was the first time Ziva had witnessed tears fall from the younger woman's eyes. Something, much like a hand, crept up into her heart and ripped it to pieces.

"Abby, stop crying," Ziva urged her gently. She was no good at all with calming people down; in fact, it seemed like she was better at making them angry.

"I can't stop… Ziva… Help," Abby whispered, going into complete shock. Ziva was stunned. Was Abby going to die?

_Stop it, David. Man up and help her_, she thought. As she reached for her cell to call Gibbs, Abby stopped her.

"Please… No," Abby requested softly. Ziva caught Abby's eyes flickering to her wrist, so she took Abby's sleeved arm in her hand.

"Oh… Abby," Ziva breathed quietly, pulling the sleeve up. An assortment of gashes decorated her wrist, trailing all the way up to her forearm. Ziva looked to Abby's other arm. There were multiple fresh cuts, and the blood was trailing. Ziva hadn't even noticed Abby's soaked sleeve, for the blood had blended in with the black thread. It was flowing quickly now, and Ziva cursed to herself. Abby's eyes moved to her office.

"Wait right here, Abby. I will be right back," Ziva assured her. She lifted herself up from her crouching position and looked into Abby's office. Sure enough, a small blade lay on Abby's desk, covered in blood. Small splotches were leading from Abby's desk to her machines. How could she not have noticed? The trashcan was almost overflowing with bloody tissues. Ziva dashed to Abby's side and knelt next to her.

"I can't stop…" Abby murmured breathlessly. "Kate… Kate's fault. Kate… Dead…"

"Abby, look at me," Ziva demanded firmly. She took the girl's hand awkwardly but held it tight and close. "You need to stay with me. Just stay here." Ziva tore off her jacket and bound the sleeve tightly around Abby's arm in an effort to stop the blood.

"Please… I want… D-die," Abby muttered incoherently. Her words were slurring together like a drunkard. "Leave…"

"Like hell I am, Abby," Ziva barked as she brushed away a strand of Abby's hair. The tears flowed down her face like nothing else. Ziva had just about had it when Gibbs and Tony burst into the room, followed by McGee. Tony lowered his gun once he saw Ziva.

"We thought you guys were at it," he chuckled. McGee gave him a look, and Tony immediately blushed.

"I mean… Violently. Not… Not the other way," he rambled.

"We're okay. Kind of…" Ziva added, trailing off. Gibbs flung himself to Abby's side.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded. Tony and McGee stood silently, staring, dumbfounded at Abby's disheveled state.

"She's been cutting, Gibbs. Please… Help her," Ziva whimpered. Tony attempted to pull the Mossad agent away from Abby's now prone body, but she wouldn't budge.

"Ziva, let DiNozzo take you," Gibbs glared, checking Abby's pulse. Ziva didn't move.

"No. Just get her to a hospital. Call 911. Do something!" she yelled at the silver-haired man. Gibbs looked at her with contempt, but only for a moment. Something in his eyes found Ziva's distress, and his hard stare softened. He nodded briskly at McGee, who pulled out his phone and dialed 911.

"Let's go," Gibbs said softly, cradling Abby in his arms, bridal-style. Her head was rolling around aimlessly as they rushed up the stairs until they reached their floor, receiving many looks from the workers. They began to gasp as they saw the blood dripping from Abby's body. Team Gibbs hurried outside and met the blaring sirens of the medics.

"I'll go," Ziva volunteered immediately before Gibbs could. Gibbs frowned, wanting desperately to stay with Abby in the van, but stepped back, knowing that time was of the essence. The medics slammed the doors shut, and the ambulance took off for the hospital.

McGee and Tony set off for the cars, with Gibbs running after them

As the ambulance drove off, the medics were stabilizing Abby's breathing. They took her blood pressure and did standard procedure until there was nothing left to do but wait until they reached the hospital. Ziva's hand remained clamped upon Abby's the entire trip, only removing it when requested.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the medics flew out of the car and transferred Abby onto a stretcher and whisked her away. Ziva ran in after her, but was stopped by a nurse.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you can't go in," the nurse said apologetically. Ziva frowned hard. She held up her badge.

"Oh, here we go. NCIS, again? I had one of y'all a while back. What was her name, Eunice?" the nurse asked, turning to a receptionist. The receptionist shrugged and turned back to her work. Rolling her eyes, the nurse turned to Abby.

"It was Jenna or something like that, anyway," the nurse continued. Ziva tapped her fingers impatiently.

"It was Jenny, and she's dead," she replied blatantly. The nurse's eyes widened, and grew even more so as the three other men burst through the door.

"Oh, not more of you!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "Y'all aren't allowed in until it's said so. Standard procedure. I'm sorry," she told them, shaking her head. McGee was pale, and he was the first to sit. Tony paced nervously around the room, while Gibbs was resting his forearms on his thighs.

Ziva, on the other hand, was doing something she hadn't done in a while.

She was praying. Praying that Abby would make it. Praying that God, (or whoever was up there) would take away Abby's pain. Praying that never, ever, _ever _again, would she have to see Abby cry.

**Author's Note: Well? How'd ya like it? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! (Just don't leave a nasty review, please. Keep it nice and clean :) Yeah, I know. A lot of you are gonna ask, 'How did Ziva not notice all the blood?' Well, let's just say: This is FICTION. Ziva may or may not have lost a couple of her super-sharp ninja skills. Sorry, geez. I just needed it to fit my story. Anyway, let me know if I should write one more chapter or whatever by reviewing, please. Thanks so much guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Are you kidding? I wasn't going to leave you off there! Here's the next chapter for you all. And I should've put a trigger warning in the beginning… For those of you that were affected, I'm so sorry! Anyway, when Ziva says she 'loves' Abby, it's in a best-friend type of way. It's not like… You know. Enjoy…**

Her head was pounding.

Her body was aching.

And most of all, her heart was broken.

How could she have been so cold to Ziva when she had only tried to help her?

_What if that was the last time you ever saw her, Abby? You're lucky you're not dead. You had better apologize_, her mother's voice rang in her head.

Suddenly, her eyes finally opened. The heart monitor beside her bed began to spike up and down uncontrollably. Her eyes flickered around the room to try and find a warm, familiar face, but all she could see was white.

White walls, white sheets, white machines…

A nurse bustling into the room interrupted her thinking. She looked to be in her late forties-early fifties, and a mop of curly red hair sat atop her head. Her eyes were green, and sparkling with kindness.

"You've woken up, dear! How did you sleep?" the nurse asked, setting up a table for Abby to eat on.

"Good, I guess. How long have I been asleep?" the younger woman asked groggily. The nurse placed a tray of food down in front of her and frowned in thought.

"A few days. You lost a lot of blood, darling," she replied.

Abby swallowed. "Can you call my team, please?"

The nurse raised an eyebrow as she fumbled with a few machines. "Team?"

"Um, yeah. I work with NCIS," Abby explained. The nurse nodded in understanding.

"Ah, I see. Okay, well I'll call them after you eat, okay? Push that little button if you need anything," the nurse pointed to a small panel on the wall and left the room.

Abby looked down at the tray in front of her. A steaming slice of her favorite cheese pizza rested on a plate. She noticed the corner of a piece of paper sticking out from underneath the plate, so she lifted it to reveal a card. A teddy bear holding a heart was embossed on the front in gold. Opening it, she gasped.

_Get well soon, Abbs. The pizza is from Gibbs, the caramel apple is from McGee, the cheese is from Ducky, the Caf-Pow! is from me, and the chocolate cupcake is from Ziva. Oh, and she says this is the same kind that Probie stole, so I suggest you eat it quickly._

_-Much love, _

_Tony._

"You guys," Abby smiled to herself as she dug into her plate. Soon, she was finished, and she pushed the button on the side of the wall. The same nurse immediately came to her side, giving her a bright smile.

"Are you feeling a bit better, dear?" she asked, clearing up Abby's table and stowing it back in its place.

"A little, yeah. Thank you so much," Abby replied. "Do you think you could call my team now?" she asked, a bit impatiently. The nurse nodded.

"Of course. I'll be right back." The nurse exited the room and headed towards the front desk.

**-NCIS Offices, Quantico-**

Ziva sat in her cushioned chair, chin in hands. Her heart hadn't quit beating fast since they left Abby at the hospital. She yearned to be next to her friend, but this damn case was taking its toll on her, and Gibbs forced her to stay. She knew he wanted to see her, but this case had apparently taken priority over Abby, and Ziva hated it. If only she could be there when Abby woke up…

_If she wakes up_, she thought. Suddenly, her stomach lurched immediately. She shot up from her desk and raced to the bathroom, making it in record time. She thanked God silently that there was nobody else in the bathroom as she wretched the contents of her lunch. Just as she emerged from the stall, wiping her mouth, Tony stepped in.

"Ziva," he said softly. She looked up at him with wet eyes.

"Tony… I can't…" she whispered. He pulled her in close and held her tight.

"I was just going to let you know that we're all going to the hospital to visit Abby. She's okay, Ziva. She's going to be just fine," he assured her quietly. Ziva's heart soared and she nearly sank to her knees in Tony's arms.

"I thought I was going to lose her, Tony," she sobbed. "She-she's my best friend." Tony helped her stand still. "I feel like it's my fault."

Tony frowned and lifted her chin. "It's not your fault, Ziva. You didn't cause this. Kate's death was what caused it. At the same time, it wasn't Kate's fault. And we'll never lose Abby. She's… Well, she's Abby," he joked lightly. Ziva wiped away a tear and nodded bravely.

"I need to see her," she said firmly. Tony nodded and led her out gently by the arm, and the two proceeded to the car.

**-General Hospital, Quantico-**

"Abby," Gibbs knocked softly on the door, although it was open. Abby's eyes glowed.

"Gibbs!" she cried as he made his way to her bed. He kissed her forehead.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Abby nodded.

"I'm okay, I guess. I… I just miss Kate." Tears welled up in her eyes at the memory of her best friend. Gibbs looked into her eyes.

"We all miss her, Abbs. She's in a safer place now," he assured her. Abby looked dejected. "If you want, we can visit her when you get out of here," he offered. She looked back up at him.

"Really?" she asked, growing excited. Tony and McGee stepped into the room, and McGee immediately rushed to her side.

"Abby," he breathed.

"I'm okay, Tim. I really am," she said. He nodded and moved so that Tony could see her.

"Hey Abby," he smiled. She gave him a weak smile back.

"Hey," she replied. Gibbs and McGee left the room, allowing Tony to have some time with Abby.

"We were worried about you," he told her. Abby looked ashamed.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. Tony bent down, kissing her cheek, something he had never done.

"It's not your fault. Just promise you're done," he said sticking out his pinky. When she hesitated, he pouted, "Oh, come on."

She smiled at his gesture and wrapped her pinky around his. "Fine," she rolled her eyes playfully. Suddenly, her throat closed up.

"Where's Ziva?" she asked. He nodded and cleared his throat. Ziva walked slowly into the room, avoiding Abby's gaze. Tony softly pressed down on Ziva's shoulder and left the room.

"Hello, Abby," Ziva managed tensely. The lump in Abby's throat was making itself known.

"H-hi."

Ziva came around to the side of Abby's bed and took a deep breath. "I'm so-"

Abby nodded and cut her off, feebly reaching for Ziva's hand. "I know."

Ziva dropped a small, comforting kiss to Abby's forehead. "I thought I was going to lose my best friend," she whispered truthfully. A tear began to make its way down Abby's cheek, but its path was interrupted by Ziva's thumb.

"Please, don't cry, Abby. I can't watch you cry," Ziva mumbled, squeezing Abby's hand.

"Ziva…" Abby spoke her name softly. She blinked back her tears and continued. "I'm sorry I snapped."

Ziva shook her head quickly. "Abby, stop apologizing. It is not your fault," she said firmly. Abby took a deep breath, and Ziva sat on a small space that wasn't occupied by Abby's bandaged body. She caressed Abby's hair with her nimble fingers, drawing small lines on the top of her hand with the other.

"Listen, Abby," Ziva began quietly. "What you did, I completely understand." She then proceeded to roll up her sleeve, showing Abby the hardly visible lines adorning her wrist. Abby gasped softly and ran her fingers lightly over the scars.

"Ziva… Why?" Abby asked cautiously. Ziva shrugged, her eyes beginning to glaze over.

"I just… I missed the old you, Abby," she reasoned.

Abby frowned. "That gives you a reason to cut yourself?"

Ziva sighed. "No, it doesn't. You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, Ziva. You hurt yourself," Abby whimpered, shuddering at the thought of Ziva self-harming.

"I won't, Abby. I promise," Ziva whispered, kissing her hair.

"Me too, Ziva," Abby promised. Ziva held Abby's hand tightly.

"Just promise me one thing?" Ziva piped up. Abby looked up at her, and Ziva bent down to give her a warm hug. Into her ear, she whispered, "Never let me see you cry again, okay?"

**Author's Note: Well? Did you like the ending? I hope you did! R&R please! Love you guys…**


End file.
